I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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