I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
