Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
