i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize