I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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