Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
