so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
please don't ironically join a cult
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