Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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