that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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