think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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