I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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