Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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