Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
