Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
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I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.