So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much