You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just want nice things and good sex
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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