When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.