I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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