i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
