Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
