I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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