shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
