Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
