Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
