How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
