I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
