brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
