Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize