Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
His hands were made for my vagina.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
