And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
