Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
