She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Fuck appropriateness.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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