i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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