Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
