Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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