What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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