Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
