I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
