is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
