; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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