they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
