i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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