My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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