I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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