Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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