at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
