Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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