i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
