I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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