i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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