everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
