apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
