We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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