it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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