we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
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