Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize