I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I think people are normalizing furries
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
