Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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