so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
