so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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