return my video game
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You left your phone here
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