I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
