...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
