He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
high people should be assigned attendants
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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