That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Randomize
