did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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